Managing Homesickness And Adjustment To College
Supporting Your Student's Adjustment to College
- Encourage self-advocacy. Resist the urge to do things for your student. Instead, stealthily study the various supports available here at SLU such as Academic Advising, Career Services, Student Activities and Counseling Services. When you are aware of the supports available you can steer your student toward the office that might be helpful to them if an issue arises. Don’t make appointments for your student, instead encourage them to access the office you know might be able to help. (See the other side of this handout for resources).
- Expect some struggle. Maybe your child makes friends right away and isn’t homesick but calls with a meltdown over their first less than stellar grade. Maybe they are loving all their classes and thriving academically but are upset, homesick or expressing loneliness. Let them know change is stressful and they are going through a ton of changes. Normalize the struggle and provide encouragement. Don’t promote the myth that college is the “best time in your life”, instead validate and normalize the stress of adjustment. It’s completely normal to experience bumps in the road and discomfort along the way.
- Discuss Communication Expectations. Don’t Panic if you don’t hear back from them right away. Know that they probably do miss you, even if they don’t say so. They will be very busy and focused on new people and experiences and getting settled into their new environment. Resist the temptation to stay in constant contact via calls/texts. Instead, consider sending snail mail or a care package from home. Some families find having a mutually agreed upon day/time to touch base by phone call or text helpful. Let them know you are always there to support, but understand they need their space and freedom. Conversely, if your student seems to be very dependent on calling you often or seems to be struggling a great deal, encourage them to talk to their RC or steer them to another campus support.
- Promote Wellness Strategies. Remind your student that there are many things they can do to help feel their best. Remind them of the power of adequate sleep, good nutrition and regular exercise. If they have a healthy coping strategy for stress (running, yoga, listening to music, journaling, taking a nature walk) that has worked in the past, remind them and encourage them to use it.