Supporting Your Student Through Grief

Check in and provide support:

Take time to focus on connecting and listening to your student. Let them talk without judgment.
Validate feelings and experiences. Identify their loss and that it is normal to experience many intense emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion.
Some things you can’t fix…resist offering up solutions and focus on listening and understanding their feelings.
Ask them what you can do to help but also respect their boundaries on their wishes for your involvement. Some students may want space while others may want more support.

Model and promote healthy coping strategies

Encourage your student to focus on self-care by getting enough sleep, eating well, maintaining a routine, and avoiding alcohol and other substances.
Normalize seeking counseling support. Share information about SLU’s Counseling Center, the Crisis and Counseling Helplines, and other professional support opportunities.
Encourage them to connect with trusted and supportive friends and family members. Help them identify their support network.
Be open and share your own feelings to model that it is OK to grieve and express emotions.
Other positive coping strategies could include journaling, going for walks, exercising, spending time in nature, engaging in a hobby, and refraining from social media.

Watch out for warning signs:

Signs that your student may be in distress include: Isolation and withdrawal, decline in academic performance, change in sleep patterns, excessive guilt and sadness, thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. Encourage seeking professional help if these signs emerge.
If thoughts of self-harm or suicide are expressed, seek professional help immediately. It’s Ok to ask your student directly if they have thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

Educate yourself:

Learn about the grief process especially if loss is from suicide. Grief is complicated. It is not a linear process, and everyone experiences it differently.
Learn about other common college stressors so that you are aware of other issues that might come up for your college student while they are grieving.

Keep up the support:

Avoid hovering but continue to check in and offer your care and guidance. Remind them of resources and your own family’s support. Engage other family members in providing support.
Reach out to SLU’s Counseling Center or Student Life to build up support on campus. Review resources listed below.